Do you want to change your life? REALLY? Or are you happy with it the way it is?
Maybe you think your life has changed a lot already as a result of your Biodanza participation. And most surely you are right, it has. But, be honest with yourself and look deeply at the fundamentals of your existence. Have they really changed? How is your love life? Sure you may have more lovely and loving friends than you had before but what about your primary relationship? Still with him (or her)? Or still changing one for another with almost clockwork regularity? Or is there still no-one of significance in that role? Is this facet of your life (one of the most important, if not THE most) really different from before?
Or how about your life situation then? Still dealing with stress or health issues? Or abundance/wealth issues? Is this position fundamentally altered, pre and post Biodanza?
We, a group of 30 or so established teachers doing the Heart of Transformation (HOT) training last year, were asked these very questions, and despite ten plus years of Biodanza each, we were shockingly forced to admit “you know what, not that much has changed!” Not fundamentally. of course we had all benefited enormously from our time in Biodanza, but somehow, somewhere, we were all still struggling with self same issues we began with.
We had all had a seriously impressive home makeover. Redecorated and refurbished, almost unrecognisable externally, but we were still a 2 bedroomed house! Everything about that house had changed, but its essential structure remained intact. the walls, ceilings, floors and roof all looked different but were essentially the same. And so remains our psychological structure.
The holding patterns we’ve created over our lifetimes are not massively impacted by standard Biodanza, so it would seem. We feel much better, we feel much healthier, more centered and alive, yes, but we are still doing the same stuff we always did! So it would seem. Many of us were truly shocked! I wanted to resist this notion, “No, Biodanza has been and is an awesome tool of personal transformation and development!” No doubt about it. But, confronted with the enquiry and willing to be honest in response, the vast majority of us were forced to admit that no, not much has fundamentally changed! Incredible! An amazing admission. Truly.
Why is this so?
The Unconscious. Most people have heard the analogy to the iceberg, its 7/8ths underwater equating to our subconscious mind. it runs our lives, whether we like it or not. It is the walls, floors, ceilings and roof of our personal dwelling place. To renovate, to take down some walls, to build an extension, to fundamentally redesign your home (you) you need to deal with the unconscious. The shadow. The unknown. Your wounding. You need to clean up the trash. Ameliorate the chaos. Soothe the madness. Heal.
To heal unconscious wounding you need to allow the expression of the emotion of the experience that originally caused the wound in the first place. Because we learn, very early on, NOT to express our anger, hurt, upset, displeasure, annoyance, irritation, sadness, grief, fear, hopelessness or desperation (the list goes on), we are literally a sea of unexpressed emotion. We HAVE to obey our parents, we have no choice.We depend on them at the time. We cannot live our emotions as they are designed for fight, flight or freeze. We have to behave. We have to be civilised, to be polite, to be well behaved and always, always in control. And so we become nice, good girls and boys, seething with anger and resentment underneath, bulging with grief and sadness, replete with fears both real and imaginary.
Each time we fail to to fully express the emotion of the moment, this trauma is put safely away into the unconscious where it does not bother us on the surface of our awareness any more. It shores up our walls, floors, ceilings and roof.
Biodanza cleans up the outside. Washes the windows, scrubs the brickwork, repaints, brings in new furniture, fresh wallpaper, fixtures and fittings – the lot. All looks sparkling, fresh, colourful and new. Biodanza has supplied endless resources for you to unrecognisably change your life. “Look at that house! It is totally different from before”. Yes, up to a point. It is the same house, in the same location, and as every ex estate agent knows, the 3 most important things about a property are location, location, location! (forgive me, I used to be an estate agent!).
Rolando Toro recognised this at a point in his career, and developed the Minotaur Project in response. He created exercises that would lead us towards an encounter with the bogeyman in the closet of the unconscious. Some of you will have experienced that magnificent moment of standing on the edge of fear and stepping forward regardless.
The Heart of Transformation is an extension of this journey. It is a fundamental (that word again) reprogramming of the unconscious and how we respond to it. Our normal response when we start to feel fear, anger or sadness is to avoid those feelings as quickly as possible. To go in the other direction, to move away from them. They are nasty, horrible, uncomfortable and unwanted feelings and they are spoiling your day. Go AWAY!. Yuk! I don’t want this in my life etc etc.
But what is actually occurring when this happens is that life and the unconscious are creating circumstances for you where you may finally let the cat out of the bag and release the repressed emotion you’ve been carrying for so long. Something annoys, saddens or scares you. Don’t project “Nasty, horrible thing or person. Go away”, no. Pause. Take a deep breath. Notice the emotions arising AND ALLOW THEM TO HAPPEN! No distraction, suppression, denial or swallowing them back down. No, experience the emotion of the old wound, let it flow, heal and clean the wound originally created way back when. If you fully experience the trapped, repressed emotion, it no longer forms part of the unconscious wounding. Clean your wounds, heal your chaos by the simple (!) expedient of allowing your emotions rather than avoiding them, and then, after some time your life begins to mirror your gradually cleaning slate. Your life is a mirror of your unconscious and without addressing it, everything else is so much window dressing. Window dressing can be phenomenal. Tourists flock to Harrods to see the Christmas displays, don’t forget, and awesome spectacles they can be too. But it is still a shop selling stuff.
If you want change, IT IS AVAILABLE. You are going to need a lot of courage and determination, because there are a lot of wounds in the unconscious waiting for the humility and patience of the determined warrior to heal them. How? By crying the pain and sadness of not being able to do it better. By raging against the machine. By expressing trapped fear energy from the cells of your body. The Heart of Transformation creates opportunities to retrain our responses away from “Ugh! No! Never in a million years!” to “OK. I dare to feel this a little bit.” Then a bit more and a bit more. Scenarios where your “stuff” is brought up abound, IN ORDER THAT YOU MIGHT FINALLY ACCEPT AND EMBRACE THESE DIFFICULT EMOTIONS, THEREBY SETTING THEM (AND YOURSELF) FREE.
It is a beguilingly simple dynamic. Feel the emotion. Welcome the emotion (especially of it feels shit). Allow the emotion. Express the emotion. Do it over and over again. Clean your past to enjoy your future.
Even in 4 days of this workshop, we are going to clear a negligible backlog of our suppressed emotions. We do learn the method to continue with it at home, to make it part of our practice. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable feelings like the plague, we retrain ourselves to welcome the opportunity to experience something to help us clean our slate. Thank you for triggering me, life! Instead of blaming the other, projecting on them, making them wrong, we learn to recognise that it is something unhealed in us, ALWAYS, that is the problem, but if we stop, tune in, feel what is arising, welcome it and give it space to be expressed, an old, unresolved pain may breathe its last and be gone from your system forever!
Keep on doing this for a few years (what else have you got to do with the rest of your life after all?) and you may well find yourself in the detached mansion of your dreams, with a great makeover to boot!
The Next Philippe Lenaif workshop coming up:
Sparkle of the Divine
Dates: 10th – 14th May
Venue: Osho Leela
Costs £390 till Feb 14th and £410 after that till May 1st. Bookings in the final 10 days will be priced at £435.
Booking enquires or questions please email Niraj firstname.lastname@example.org
The Sparkle of the Divine 2017